2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
