Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
