batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
