every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't deserve a penis
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
