so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
