How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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