I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
