we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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