It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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