I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
