YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
