why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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