I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
