my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
