Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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