wake up i wanna do it froggy style
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I will be naked everywhere
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
