I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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