he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
