Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
