bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
