so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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