Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
