I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Your cock deserves a montage
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
