I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
