A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
