i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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