You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
