If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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