Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
