if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
