I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
