lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
