Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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