I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
