i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize