I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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