why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
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I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
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I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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