i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
