So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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