9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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