I got chris browned last night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
