He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
