I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize