i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
