Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
