He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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