What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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