its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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