He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they need to just BURY HIM!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
