The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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