i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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