I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
