I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
