Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
