My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
